The Chronicles of Sesshomaru
by Kitsune Muse
Summary: A humorous miniseries about Sesshomaru. RP based, major OOCness, minor AUAR, minor OC, and maybe a bit of bashing
1. Where do babies come from?

Disclaimer: It's not mine, nor am I making any money off of this. If I was It wouldn't be on a **fan**fiction site now would it?? -.-;; (goes for all chapters!)

This isn't to be taken seriously in any way. I really love Sesshomaru, sometimes I just have to make fun of him though.

It is based of an RP that me and my friend did a long time ago, this in particular was written the summer between 7th and 8th grade, so it's old. The wolf mentioned is my friend's character, Raven, my character is the sister-in-law, Scarlet. Um I don't think there's any mentions in there but if there is just for further notice the fire demon is Hiei from YYH. Sesshomaru and Kagura are a couple even though I do not support the couple very much.

Sesshomaru is also intimidated by my charcter because of something she did to him in front of his court/coucily thingy and some conspiring between her and his mother. (She is actually a character in the series!)

Rin had been getting very curious lately, she asked me about me and Kagura several times. Of course I believe a child has no business meddling in my affairs. One day she came up to my lordliness and asked where babies came from. I looked at her oddly before understanding what she had actually asked me.

"Lord Sesshomaru where do babies come from?"

"Well Rin...I eh…It's like this...No" I Lord Sesshomaru ruler of the western lands was, for the first time in my life, at a loss... I stormed away annoyed that a mere child had me stuttering on my words.

As the hours passed I grew frustrated. I truly did not know how to answer the human child. Finally I did the only thing I could think to do.

I picked up the phone and called my brother.

"Hello?"

"As much as I hate to admit it I need your help little brother..."

"Sesshomaru it's almost midnight why are you still up?"

"Rin wants to know where babies come from..." I heard a silence and then laughter, and then several other sleepy voices.

The wolf picked up the phone, "CAN'T THIS WAIT TILL MORNING?!?!?!?"

I heard her mumble something, but I could not tell because the contraption called a phone muddles my hearing. I heard a beep and I could hear every thing that was going on...I believe it is called speaker phone.

"Okay Sess what's wrong?" I heard my sister-in-law; by the sound of her voice she was annoyed.

"Um...Rin asked where babies come from..." I was feeling intimidated by a cat! I am a dog demon, Lord of the dog demons! I should not be intimidated by a cat!!!!

"That's it???? You called at eleven-forty-three to ask us what to say because your daughter asked where babies come from?!?!??!?!"

"Yes..." my voice came out squeaky, and I cleared my throat, "Yes."

"Well why don't you get her to ask Jaken??? That'd be the smart thing to do! But of course that wouldn't be the Sesshomaru thing to do now would it?"

"I...uh..." I heard the laughter in the background and placed the phone back on the receiver. "Stupid brother and his stupid friends always making a fool of me!" I started angrily mumbling to myself.

"Sess-chan what's wrong?" I heard Kagura from the other room. She came into the room and waited for me to start explaining.

"I have been made a fool of by an eight year old girl, and my brother, and his friends..." I explained everything from the beginning.

She merely nodded and laughed slightly at some parts. "I'll take care of this in the morning," She looked like she was up to something...or had some other-worldly knowledge that most women seem to have for some reason...

The next morning I woke up when Rin jumped on my stomach and started babbling about Kagura and babies. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and asked, "What??" stupidly.

"Kagura-sama told Rin where babies come from!!!!!" To me it seemed she was very excited about this. "She said they come from their mommy's tummy, and then I asked how it got in there and Kagura-sama said its mommy and daddy decide!!!" She jumped off of me and out of my room.

"Females...always excited about stupid stuff..." I mumbled and pulled the sheets over my head again. I am never having children of my own!!!!!!!!!!


	2. Why Manten doesn't have hair

Warning for the end of this one!! Spanking! This one takes place when the boys are kids, and I know there is an age discrepancy between this and the series. Get over it.

"You know this is actually a pretty good idea...for a hanyou..." The young heir said looking down at his younger brother.

"Of course it is Sesshomaru-kun!" His whelp of a brother said.

"Shush before someone finds us, it was hard enough sneaking away from that ridiculous dinner party," he rolled his eyes.

They slipped into Manten's guest room and looked at the vile smelling cauldron in the corner of the room. Manten, the thunder demon, was trying to perfect a tonic to make his hair grow longer. The vile that was hidden in his little brother's haori would change the potion so that it would cause him to go completely bald.

Inuyasha and Sesshomaru had snuck away from their father and the thunder demon's alliance dinner party. He climbed up the ladder that connected to the pot's rim, Inuyasha was right behind him. He pulled his little brother up and held his up over the potion so he could pour in the other ingredient.

Unfortunately his brother was a somewhat uncoordinated pup and slipped pulling them both into the cauldron. Sesshomaru felt a tingly sensation on his scalp and felt his head where his previously short hair had been. He looked to see that Inuyasha also had long hair now.

"Shit!" the heir quietly cursed and pulled himself and his brother out of the sticky slimy concoction. He yanked the vile from Inuyasha and poured a blue liquid into the disgusting grey mass of goop.

He plopped Inuyasha on the floor and stirred the disgusting mass a few times before his keen hearing picked up on footsteps and voices. He quickly grabbed his whelp brother again and pulled him under the bed just as the door opened.

"Sessh-" Inuyasha started.

Sesshomaru quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. The door creaked open and Manten's heavy footsteps were heard and seen. He walked straight to the cauldron and a few drips of the disgusting goop dripped onto the floor as the thunder demon put it into his hair. Sesshomaru took advantage of him being distracted and ran out of the room pulling his brother with him.

He quickly took his brother back to the nursery where all the other young pups were and told the servant there he had gotten into a flower patch at the garden and needed to be cleaned up so he could return to the dinner party.

The nurse was new so she thought nothing of the newly long hair on the 7 year old Inu youkai, and though it was obvious that he hadn't been in a flower patch she didn't question the lordling.

Sesshomaru went to his room and quickly washed and changed, meeting his brother back at the ball room. They stood near their father and mothers and heard a scream. Manten came running into the ball room with tears streaming down his face and only three hairs perched atop his head.

"Inutaisho!!!!!!!!! MY HAIR IS GONE!!!!!!!!!!" Everyone in the room either started laughing or gasped.

Sesshomaru on the other hand did neither and was immediately singled out by Manten, "You! You did this! You obnoxious, evil little mutt!" He pointed at Sesshomaru.

Inutaisho and Akina (we're gonna give Sess's mom a name) moved Sesshomaru behind them and Izayoi picked up her son as well. Inutaishio stood to his full height and towered over the pudgy frog like demon.

"You have accused my son with not a shred of evidence to prove what he did," he got a cold look on his face.

"Look at their hair! It is at least five times longer than it was when they first came into the ball room this evening!!" Manten shrieked getting red in the face.

Inutaisho looked at his sons and took both by the back of their kimonos. He quickly walked out of the ball room leaving his two wives to ponder their sons' punishment. Inutaisho took them into his older son's room and sat them both on the bed, "Boys!" He said expecting an explanation.

When neither boy responded he picked up Sesshomaru and laid him across his knees. He pulled down his hakamas and gave him a spanking he'd never forget. When Sesshomaru had tears in his eyes and a fire red back side the youkai lord took his youngest son and gave him the same punishment. The boys' pleas of forgiveness were heard throughout the manor and their mothers winced knowing neither would be able to sit down for a while.

The lord left them in Sesshomaru's bedroom and stormed off, his alliance with the thunder demons now ruined. The two brothers for the last time curled up together whimpering in pain and taking comfort from the other.

The next morning Sesshomaru was chasing his little brother around the manor blaming him for

coming up with the prank in the first place. He was twelve and he hadn't been spanked since he was at least Inuyasha's age, so he blamed the pup for putting such a dent in his pride and dignity. Even the castle imps were snickering at him when he walked past. And so begun the start of Inuyasha and Sesshomaru's current...eh ...relationship...


End file.
